


On the Road and In His Head

by imaginarycircus



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Fanmix, M/M, Songfic, roadtrip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-08
Updated: 2011-08-08
Packaged: 2017-10-22 09:46:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/236713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginarycircus/pseuds/imaginarycircus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written to go with a <a href="http://anonym.to/?http://www.megaupload.com/?d=6ZR8Y1UY">fanmix</a> made for lemniciate's mixtape exchange. (see end of fic for track list). Erik and Charles on the road to find all the mutants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On the Road and In His Head

**Author's Note:**

  * For [momebie (katilara)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/katilara/gifts).



They take turns driving and sleeping all the way to Denver, but the driver controls the radio. Charles says it’s the unwritten rule of the road and Erik doesn’t argue, but he tends to switch the radio off when he’s driving. Right now he’s sitting in the passenger seat staring moodily out the window as wild stretches of West Virginia fly past in a verdant blur.

The radio isn’t on, even though Charles is driving, because there are great swaths of the brand new 1-64 that don't receive any radio signals. Charles picks up snatches of songs in Erik’s head when it’s quiet like this. He must like jazz, because that’s what’s rattling around in there. It goes with his turtlenecks. It’s as good as a radio station because Erik recalls songs in their entirety, but Charles doesn’t really love jazz. And this song is very, very long.

“What is that you’re hearing?” Charles says.

Erik shoots him a look, sharp and unhappy.

“Sorry. Can’t always help it and I’m bored.” Charles shifts against the hot vinyl of the seat and stretches his stiff legs as much as he can while driving.

“It’s Miles Davis,” is all Erik will say. But Charles can pick the name out of his thoughts. _Freddie Freeloader._

“Odd name for a song,” Charles tries and then realizes, too late, that Erik is pissed. “Sorry, I’ll try not to listen.”

Erik thinks only in German for the rest of the day and also of the German national anthem. Charles finds himself humming it in the bathroom when they stop to sleep in proper beds in a motel. He doesn’t have the heart to tell Erik that his German is pretty good. After all they still have a long drive ahead of them.

**

When Erik hums aloud--it’s a new song called "Green Onions" by Booker T. and the M.G.s that they keep catching bits of on the radio. It’s twelve bar blues and makes a nice change from the wordless jazz that makes Charles feel like he needs a crisp, cold martini, and maybe a black turtleneck.

Charles prefers pop music. He likes things that are new and catchy. Erik just raises an eyebrow when they pick up a radio station outside St. Louis and Charles turns the volume up and sings along:

 _Do it nice and easy, now, don’t lose control  
A little bit of rhythm and a lot of soul  
So come on, come on, do the Loco-motion_

Charles sings so loudly and so off-key that Erik finally cracks a smile. The late afternoon sun is picking out the red in his hair.

They’re both keyed up and anxious to find the new mutant. The states fly by, rolling hills flattening out into long stretches of asphalt edged by meadows in full flower. They pick up a blues station in Kansas.

“Next up is new one from Howlin’ Wolf. "Poor Boy",” the announcer’s gritty voice says. Charles and Erik both like it. It’s like a compromise between rock and roll and jazz—grittier than jazz, but slower than rock.

They creep way up into the mountains and Denver is a breath of fresh air after so long in the car. Charles doesn't want to admit that he really had no idea how beautiful his adopted country is, or how strange and different it can be from place to place.

They find Angel without too much trouble and convince her to come back to Virginia with them. It's so easy they feel giddy, even when the champagne wears off. Angel also likes pop music and she and Charles sing the new Beach Boys song together every time they happen upon it, while Erik looks pained and tries to pretend he’s asleep in the back seat.

 _Let’s go surfin’ now  
Everybody’s learnin’ how  
Come and safari with me_

 

They leave Angel with Raven and Hank at the facility and head to New York, driving north from station to station without the blank spots they encountered driving across country. Erik manages to find a jazz hour on a station at the low end of the dial.

“What’s this?”

“Dave Brubeck. 'Take Five',” Erik says. "Haven’t you heard it before?"

Charles shakes his head. He likes it. It has a quiet sort of energy. It’s laid back and catchy at the same time. It’s also the song that is playing the first time Erik thinks of kissing him. Charles blushes and coughs. Erik breathes out heavily through his nose and won’t look at Charles after that.

Charles reaches over and grabs him by the arm. “Don’t be ashamed. We’re spending so much time together and I am very attractive.”

Erik snorts, but Charles can sense his amusement and he doesn’t try to make more out of the joke then he needs to. He’s thought about kissing Erik before, what it would be like to stand very close to him and slip his arms about the other man’s waist. God knows Erik could use some affection if he’d let anyone in.

They have a hard time pinning down Armando Munoz because his location changes rapidly, and that’s when Erik realizes that he probably drives a taxi. It’s still a chore to find him, but they do. They convince him to come back to Virginia with them, but he wants to pack and say goodbye to his family first so Erik and Charles find a cheap hotel to crash in, but it’s run down and depressing--yellowed cigarette smoke stained walls and yellow lights. It’s like being in an alcoholic’s liver. Erik insists they go out for a drink and maybe some live music. He says he’s heard of a place called "The Village Vanguard". They catch a set by someone called Stan Getz and Charles is pleasantly surprised he doesn’t hate it. Maybe Erik is wearing off on him. He’s not going to start wearing turtlenecks though.

The whole set has a sort of Brazilian beat. It makes Charles want to get up and dance. He notices there are men sitting close together in the club. He knows what they are, and envies them. He’d like to reach over and give Erik’s hand a squeeze. Charles is trying not to snoop around in Erik's head, but he is fascinated by him, and by his past. He wants to know all of him, feels like he could stare into his eyes for ages.

"What?" Erik says.

"I like this," Charles says, meaning to be vague about what it is exactly he likes.

Erik smiles and Charles's breath stutters.

On their way out of New York City the next day Armando goes nuts when he finds out Erik is a jazz fan. He finds his favorite station and they freak out together, bobbing their heads to Chet Baker. Charles concedes that it’s OK music. Maybe he likes jazz more than he thought he did, which was not at all. He still prefers music you can sing along to.

They pick up a station playing blues in Philadelphia and Armando recognizes the tune and he and Erik chat about how jazz and the blues are the same and how they are different musical forms and about jazz being the only truly original American music. Charles watches the city of Brotherly Love slide by, the conversation rushes over him, and soon enough they are back in Virginia.

 

 

Charles drives the first leg of the long trip out to Billings and serenades Erik when "I Only Have Eyes for You" comes on the radio late the first night.

 _The moon may be high  
But I can’t see a thing in the sky  
‘Cause I only have eyes for you_

Erik’s face takes on a sour expression and without reading his thoughts Charles realizes that Erik thinks he’s mocking him. But he’s not. He means it. He pulls the car over on the side of the road and threads his arm around Erik’s shoulders, whispers in Erik’s ear, “Not teasing. Mean it.” Then slides his mouth along Erik’s jaw, again quick as quick, not giving Erik time to think before reaching his lips. Erik freezes for a moment and then melts into the kiss. It’s all sweetness, gentleness.

The music segues into a different song.

 _It’s not the way you smile  
That touched my heart  
It’s not they way you kiss  
That tears me apart_

Erik places his hands on either side of Charles's face and presses into the kiss, flicks his tongue against Charles’s bottom lip and then against Charles’s tongue. It’s late, after midnight, and there aren’t many other cars on the road, but when a pair of distant headlights sneak between them, they break apart panting. Erik’s pupils contract as the glare of the headlights approaches.

“Should we—“ Charles says, unable to look away from those eyes.

“Yes,” Erik says because he knows Charles can see his thought, that they find a room somewhere. Soon.

Charles drives a bit fast and sings badly to Twist and Shout and Erik smiles in a way that almost break Charles’s heart, because his normal relaxed expression is one of deep, still, sadness.

They find a motel near Dayton and are both unsure how to pick up again, how far to take this.

Charles does what he does when he is uncomfortable—he babbles, while Erik is silent. Charles prattles about his hopes for the mutants and eventually forming a school, a sort of mutant academy, and finally Erik crosses the room and switches on the radio.

Blues comes pouring out a little dirty and a little angry and a whole lot of swagger. Erik grips Charles's shoulders and kisses him hard, sinks down onto the bed next to him and kisses like he might not have the chance again and he’s holding nothing back, just in case.

The voice on the radio growls:

 _I’m a man  
A full grown man  
I’m a man  
I’m a natural lover man  
I’m a man  
I’m a rollin stone  
I’m a man  
I’m a hoochie coochie man_

The look in Eric’s eyes as he reaches for the buttons on Charles’s shirt is depthless, naked, and pleading.

“Please,” Charles whispers, afraid to speak too loudly, afraid to break the spell they’re under.

The end up naked, breathless, and tangled in each others limbs, neither sure what to say, so remaining silent. They don’t sleep much, because it is too strange and too wonderful to be so close to someone else, to feel a heart beating, and breathing, and life under one's fingers.

The next day Erik lets the radio pick up pop stations all the way to Chicago and Charles knows he’s doing it just to be kind, because although Charles is coming around on jazz, Erik is never going to be a fan of the sort of music Charles likes.

 

Charles sings:

 _Get your kicks on Route 66  
Well it goes from St. Louis, Joplin Missouri  
Oklahoma city looks oh so pretty  
Youl see Amarillo and Gallup, New Mexico  
Flagstaff, Arizona dont forget Winona  
Kingsman, Barstaw, San Bernadino_

“Except we’re on route ninety,” Erik points out, a small smile on his face, softening his sharp features.

They spend the night in Chicago and after a bite to eat, Erik drags Charles to another jazz bar. This time someone called Oscar Peterson is playing the piano like he was born to do it and Charles really has to admit that he likes jazz now, likes the way the notes elide and swim into each other. This is definitely not Greenwich Village though and Charles knows it would be foolish to reach over and hold Erik’s hand, but he still brushes against him casually whenever he can.

They sleep a little that night in the same bed, but Erik wakes Charles with hungry, almost desperate kisses. Charles wants to soothe him, tell him they have all the time in the world, but he, too, is afraid. It’s not like he knows any men who do this. He’s heard it happens, but it’s the kind of thing people talk about in polite society. Not that Charles has ever had much use for polite society. He knows that people are very often thinking very different thoughts than they are willing to voice.

They are at a filling station the next day listening to the radio, but not really paying attention when the announcer mentions that a friend of his in London sent him a new record that is going to blow everyone’s minds.

The sound is jangly and harmonic and so damn catchy that Charles starts singing along before he’s heard the whole song.

 _Love, love me do  
You know I love you  
I’ll always be true  
So please, love me do  
Whoa, love me do_

“This is fantastic.” He looks over at Erik when he sings, “You know I love you.” Erik actually flushes and swallows hard, but he doesn’t look away.

The filling attendant asks for a dollar and ten cents and Charles gives him two dollars and says to keep the change hurriedly without looking at the man because his eyes are locked on Erik's.

“It’s true,” he says into Erik’s mind, which he generally tries not to do unless he has good reason. It seems even more intrusive than eavesdropping on people’s thoughts. “I do love you.”

Erik looks down at his hands and says nothing, but the way his hands are gripping each other gives him away. He’s afraid. Charles leaves him be, not wanting to push him.

He shuts off the radio and says, “Think some music for a while if you want.”

Erik thinks something ultra cool and full of horns and Charles listens, but knows it’s a cover to hide everything Erik is feeling. And he should be allowed that freedom, but of course being with Charles is not like being with a normal person.

Charles doesn’t hear much that interests him on the radio after they leave Chicago anyway, and he feels like maybe he shouldn’t have said anything so blatant. Erik is obviously ill equipped to deal with it. Charles stays out of Erik’s mind as much as he can. He’s loathe to admit that it's not something he’s all that good at. He usually stays out of Raven’s mind because he finds her thoughts boring. He’s really not a very nice person. He knows this and is well aware of his shortcomings.

He’s feeling maudlin so he starts humming the “Love me Do” song again, until the look of fear on Erik’s face silences him.

“Sorry, catchy tune. Look, I wasn’t attempting to put you over a barrel.”

Erik knits his brows together. “What does that mean?”

“Oh, it’s an idiom. It means I put you in an awkward situation. Anyway. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.”

“For putting you in an awkward situation or for…”

“For any of it.” Erik throws his hands in the air. “I just. I can’t.”

“It’s OK,” Charles says in the voice he used to soothe Raven with after she’d had nightmares. “I understand.”

“Let me drive,” Erik says and Charles pulls the car over so they can trade places. As Erik passes him he squeezes Charles’s arm and gives him the saddest smile Charles has ever seen.

The sleep curled together that night, but chastely. Charles’s heart aches, but he isn’t quite sure why and he feels like he can’t talk to Erik about it. He doesn’t pry with his mind either.

They get Alex released from prison with the CIA’s help. He is a silent kind of guy and they let the radio stations do the talking for them. There are an amazing amount of religious stations between Billings and Chicago so it’s a lot of hellfire and sin. Charles knows many people would consider him a sinner for being different, for being a telepath, but also for this thing with Erik. It’s not a sin though. It’s a gift, even if Erik can’t return his affection in some ways.

It’s a long, weird, silent drive back to Virginia and it feels as if they're marinated in silence and when they reach home. Charles is weary when he climbs into his bed and very surprised when Erik slips into it too in the middle of the night. He drags his hot mouth across Charles’s neck and shoulders.

“Ich bedaure. Ich liebe dich.” He murmurs it over and over and Charles burns with those words, biting into his flesh like live embers.

He is afraid to say it back so he doesn’t. He lets Erik stay in control, lets Erik crawl down his body and take Charles’s cock into his mouth and tries very hard not to make too much noise, but the things Erik’s mouth does to him, it’s impossible to stay totally silent.

 

They have one more trip to make to Philadelphia and it’s a short one. Charles isn’t sure he could stand another trip like the one to Billings, at least not for a while. He is starting to associate the smell of the car with the smell of home, and he doesn't live in the car, but it feels like it.

They stop in an apparently famous record store so that Erik can pick up some new albums. The store owner is very enthusiastic and pushes record after record in Erik’s hands. They spend an hour in the listening booth.

Erik buys jazz albums by Art Blakey and Oscar Peterson and Charles feels his cheeks heat when he remembers their night in Chicago. He also buys a funny album by a Mexican performer called Esquivel that made them both laugh with his whimsical bossa nova songs.

 _No, no, me muchacho you muchacha  
You know like me Tarzan, you Jane  
Me muchacho, you muchacha_

 _Oh, you muchacho, me muchaca_

 _Wow, too much of a woman  
Mucha, muchacha_

 

They find Sean at the Aquarium and he agrees to come with them once Charles reads his mind and Erik moves a bunch of chairs around by waving at them.

Erik is driving home and moves to shut off the radio, or change the station, when a sappy song comes on, but he drops his hand back down and shoots Charles a look full of meaning.

 _See the pyramids along the Nile.  
Watch the sun rise on a tropic isle.  
Just remember, darling, all the while,  
You belong to me._

Now Charles is the one who is having a hard time swallowing and doesn’t know where to look. He also doesn’t want to give anything away to Sean.

“Now who’s not playing fair,” he says into Erik’s mind. Erik grins that heartbreaking grin that’s almost painful to behold.

Sean is chattier than Alex and has lots of questions that make the ride fly by. They’re back in Virginia rather quickly compared to the last trip. As they pull into the compound the radio is singing:

 _Dream baby  
Got me dreamin' sweet dreams  
The whole day through  
Dream baby  
Got me dreamin' sweet dreams  
Nighttime too  
I love you  
And I really need you  
You know I do_

They get Sean settled and have the evening to rest before they have to head out again to Calgary, but they’ll be flying this time. It’s too far to drive.

Erik puts on one of his new albums and pulls Charles into his arms and dances him around the room to a new version of Love for Sale.

 _Who’s prepared to pay the price  
For a trip to paradise?_

They end up on the floor naked before the song ends.

 

The last trip is a bust. They fly all the way to Calgary to find out that the mutant, James Howlett, isn’t interested in having anything to do with them. They head home together, cocooned in the silent rush of the airplane and the thrum of the jet engines.

They think they’ll have forever, or a reasonable facsimile. They don’t. And months later when The Beatles hit America and Charles hears that song again—he chokes and can’t get to the radio fast enough to turn it off. He wonders if Erik thinks of him when he hears it too? Wonders if Erik thinks of him at all? But Erik is a world away and Charles can’t hear him anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Notes:
> 
> I probably took incredible liberties with what radio stations sounded like in 1962.
> 
> Here is my rough time line and list of locations, which are pretty much guesses based on XMFC canon, or Comics canon--except for Armando who is clearly in NYC when he meets Erik and Charles. I even looked up the longitude and latitudes printed on Hank's machine that were visible, but that didn't really help in most cases.
> 
> Erik and Charles meet in Miami sometime before November 1962.
> 
> Also they meet:
> 
> Hank McCoy (Beast) at a covert CIA facility – Richmond, VA  
> Angel Salvadore (Angel) born in Wyoming found in Denver  
> Armando Munoz (Darwin) - NYC  
> Alex Summers (Havok) found in Billings, Montana  
> Sean Cassidy (Banshee) found in Philadelphia  
> James Howlett (Wolverine) found in Calgary, Alberta
> 
>  
> 
> TRACKS:
> 
> 1\. Freddie Freeloader by Miles Davis, 1959  
> 2\. Green Onions by Booker T. & The M.G.s, 1962  
> 3\. The Loco-Motion by Little Eva, 1962  
> 4\. Poor Boy by Howlin' Wolf, 1962  
> 5\. Surfin Safari by The Beach Boys, 1962  
> 6\. Take Five by Dave Brubeck, 1959  
> 7\. Desafinado by Stan Getz, 1962  
> 8\. Blues in the Closet by Chet Baker, 1962  
> 9\. I Only Have Eyes For You by The Flamingos, 1962  
> 10\. Baby It's You by The Shirelles, 1962  
> 11\. Twist and Shout by The Isley Brothers, 1962  
> 12\. Mannish Boy by Muddy Waters, 1962  
> 13\. Route 66 by Chuck Berry, 1962  
> 14\. Georgia on My Mind by Oscar Peterson, 1962  
> 15\. Love Me Do by The Beatles, UK 1962  
> 16\. Sweet 'N Sour by Art Blakey, 1962  
> 17\. Mucha Muchacha by Esquivel, 1962  
> 18\. You Belong to Me by The Duprees, 1962  
> 19\. Dream Baby by Roy Orbison, 1962  
> 20\. Love for Sale by Tony Bennett, 1962


End file.
